What drives me

I wrote another coaching newsletter yesterday (I always try for the first of the month) and managed to get it out just after midnight. I ended up writing about Responsibility, a rather ingrained subject for me as I somehow usually end up assuming way more responsibility than I should, and then resent it or get burned out too quickly. Then in a coaching call today, my client made a comment about his goals and how he never took time to celebrate accomplishing them, as there was always some new task waiting to start. I chuckled and explained that I knew that feeling altogether too well. What is it with some of us that we're not allowed to relax or celebrate? Of course I SAY I'm allowed to relax but so rarely actually do. Driven to define myself by accomplishment, and the number of tasks I can cross off my list before collapsing into bed.



I'm convinced it's unhealthy to be that way, and need to find a way to stop being so driven to DO so much and learn to enjoy a lot more. I just about said that Michael and I have a classic Mary/Martha relationship and then realized that's not true ... he doesn't always enjoy and I always serve, it's more that he does both and I seem locked into the 'serving' part. It's not always serving others, but continually leaving offerings at the altar of Accomplishment. How twisted is that?



I think I need to burn the altar.

Comments

[fog]

wait, wait, don't burn it yet! i have a sacrifice that surely would be a wonderful offering.

i get nervous when i don't accomplish. i can't enjoy anything unless i "earn" it by accomplishing some tasks first.

it feels so noble!