quiet
Tuesday, April 1, 2008 at 11:57PM It's really really quiet here tonight. Kids are finally asleep, after fynn crying for daddy and D getting in trouble at school for not listening all day. Pancakes for supper as there wasn't time in the morning.
It's rather a deafening quiet. Bags gone. Coffee cups all washed and grounds sluiced down the drain.
I don't drink coffee.
He called tonight to let me know that he doesn't, alas, have a phone. At least not one that works, and the number that he gave me was for someone else's house. The woman across the hall does, and she's a coworker, so he borrowed hers to call.
There wasn't really much to say. I got angry that i cried and my voice betrayed it. I don't intend to talk much, I don't want to pull. It's a good thing, dealing alone for awhile.
It really does feel weird that he's telling me about his new apartment though. Like he's moved out. The feeling is mind-numbing if I look at it that way. I'm a drama queen, imagining what could be, mourning things that aren't. I'm morbid that way.
I distracted myself with this tonight. Suitably harlequin-esque and still real.
I looked at this too, which is not for everyone. Portraits of people before and after death. Stunning, moving, and regretful. I'm glad I looked. They weren't morbid to me at all actually.
Reader Comments (3)
Awww, you are gonna make it honey. Right now it feels awful but you guys will settle into your new little routine. Give it some time and don't forget where your strength comes from Ü
SuperChic has been missing her Daddy very badly this week. She cries for him constantly. A little over a week to go.
I know all about the adjustment phase. I cried when Shawn "showed" me his room via webcam.
Expect things to be mixed up for a few weeks. We had quite a few days of mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, or pancakes for dinner. No one felt like eating, and I didn't feel like cooking.
I haven't had to deal with such a long period apart but that week that Dave went up north was weird enough. It made me pull more into myself and think about things I take for granted.
I understand the mind-numbing part....I think the same way.
Distractions are good and the second book...sounds right up my alley. Not in a morbid way though;)