waiting

I've been waiting a lot lately.
... to figure it out, the why-am-i-so-frustrated-and-moody-and-sad part
... to find my heart and talk to it
... to get a real winter snow
... to find more patience
... to decide what to do with my coaching and my other site
... to find some enthusiasm again
... to get my first two half-frozen-marathons over and done with
... for more sun
... for a mentoring kind of friend to show up here
... to find ways to be creative again
... to learn to slow down
... to not feel guilty
... to stop saying sorry for awhile
... to find the next roach
... to eat crab rangoon
... to go out with a friend on an alone night instead of going to the movies
... to get really grabbed by a book
... to go to bed early
... to learn coptic binding
... to not feel tired or caffeinated
... to hear about M&B's twins
... to post pics of D's robot creation

I've found some of the answers. Some I'm waiting for no discernable reason. Some I'm getting clues about.
I've been posting more over here than I have here. I'm glad it's February. I'm glad the sun is still slanting across the streets when I'm bringing the boys home from school. I'm glad they both performed at school last Friday, and enjoyed it. A reading in class and a song on stage for D, a guitar solo on stage of Jingle Bell Rock a-la-Cobain by F, so said the witnesses. I'm glad I have two boys. I'm glad I spent half an hour in the park alone late last night, thinking and making a butt-tingling snow angel. I'm glad I'm ready to crawl into bed.

Comments

[Glenda]

I hear ya honey - I think it has to do with this "winter stuff" - uggh, I have never seen so ready for Spring and some sunshiney warmth mixed in with a little color!

[Beth]

I would have LOVED to hear F's performance. You will have to post more videos. I also hope you get some real, beautiful, fluffy snow!

[kozoji]

Winter does suck. Some of what you are talking about is how I've felt off and on for the last years while I went through my counselling and coaching years. I've since realized that I don't have to have the immediate answer all the time. And that it's OK to go through things. But I do have to chant it like a mantra sometimes.