i'm blogging instead of showering
Tuesday, April 14, 2009 at 2:58PM go figure. things got totally rearranged this week. i was hoping to go to columbus to see my grandma, and meet up w/my mom there for 2 days, but mom got sick enough to not go. so that’s tentatively rescheduled for next week, when it’s not spring break and when M is scheduled to work again. after taking this week off. not really in a position to have him not working when he could be.
the housemate thing has gotten more dire, which means a change is likely coming soon. i don’t feel free to blog too much about it. i didn’t expect to have to feed him in addition to everything else, however. yes we could kick him out, and no we haven’t yet. leaving that decision to M if/when it comes to that. trying to drill into his head that lying and hiding do NOT help, but so far it doesn’t seem to be sticking.
had a very very weird experience sunday night. felt like a direct spiritual attack, which i suspect it was. we were on the bus going to my aunt/uncles to have easter dinner with them. d and m were sitting together going over robot plans (an all-consuming thing now that he has motors to play with) while f and I were looking out the window and commenting on things. the whole 12 minute ride was calm, harmonious, and pleasant. i didn’t keep my usual eye on what was going on around me, but focused on my kids. f pushed the button for our stop, and we walked towards the back door.
a couple people were ahead of us, and the woman in front of me held the door for us. she was probably about 65, smiled pleasantly at me as f and i were stepping off and said “it was so nice to listen to him talk!” in a really happy voice.
i was slightly surprised as i hadn’t noticed her listening, or even where she sat, but smiled and said “thank you! it’s so nice to hear that.” then her face changed suddenly to a very sour look and she said gruffly “actually i was being sarcastic, it was really quite annoying!” and then marched off down the street.
I was dumbstruck for a second, and then said “hey, wait a minute! what are you talking about???” I stared after her as she marched away, and stood there muttering “what was that? what on earth was she talking about?” M had heard her and laughed loudly, making sure she could hear.
It felt so bizarre, i didn’t know what to think for a couple minutes. we debated following her for a second, then shrugged it off and went on our way. i found myself with tears welling up a minute later, feeling like someone had taken their claws out and run them across my heart. it felt so very pointed and poisonous. i honestly think she was either unbalanced, extremely bitter about something, or even possessed. whatever it was, she wanted to ruin the nice thing she’d seen.
i don’t want to make it into more than it is, but it made me feel a lot like i did in 3rd grade when some creep in my class decided he didn’t like me for some unknown reason, and spit on my face when i was walking home for lunch. i came home with the spit running down my cheek, afraid to touch it, and mom cleaned me up and told me something comforting that i can’t remember. perhaps i’m just naieve. there may be no sense to be made of it, but it sucked.
Reader Comments (3)
oh. my. god.
bethany,
feel free to call and chat any time. i know the pain of a comment like that, how it can darken you for a day or more, and even be frightening. i'm sorry you had to experience it.
p
:(