The last time he painted

gave him watercolors to paint with, had my back turned … got this. 

immediately after scrubbing him off in the bathroom, he said he had to poop. I left him climbing onto the toilet. I returned a few minutes later to red nail polish on his toes, fingers, fingernails, and doorframe, with gold polish poured on the floor.

Not one shred of remorse.  It was picture day.  Thankfully, it was also after school.