treading water
Tuesday, September 8, 2009 at 10:00PM 
been treading water the last few weeks. canning, enjoyed, finished. 2 bushels and it still won’t be all we use, but enough. school starts tomorrow. i got depressed this time last year too. feeling locked into the school schedule, another year here, little chance to get out, and little visible progress on moving. i still have no doubts as to it happening, but struggling to keep my heart here and engaged. no big projects, no big goals other than the very distant-seeming one of moving out to the country, no passions, just treading water. i get angry at it after awhile, not finding something to sink my teeth into. less the teeth-sinking than the feeling inspired and motivated really. no passions. watching my husband and his never-wavering one of making art. jealous of it to be honest. knowing i can pitch on more on the biz end of that, and that i’d enjoy it. but enough? not sure. being itchy doesn’t run a happy house. supposed to be my alone night and i can’t even muster myself to leave to do anything. this i will regret.
Reader Comments (1)
Sounds so much like how I get! Art does keep me going a little but to tell the truth when all I seem to do is custom orders I get lost in them and feel like I am shriveling up inside with my own creations getting forever pushed aside.
I also totally understand the being tied down to schedules. This is a huge part of why I am homeschooling. I just couldn't commit. I feel kinda pathetic about it but at the same time know that I will go nuts in my head trying to keep to it.
Anyway, I just know, I get it, I hope you find something to throw yourself into for now that fills that spot. :-)